Building Bridges with Honesty: How to Gain Confidence Moving into the Unknown

The significance of core values is easy to overlook in the rush of daily life and leadership demands. Yet few values matter more than honesty. It forms the bedrock of trust—the essential foundation for leading yourself effectively and inspiring others to follow.

What is Honesty?

Honesty means aligning your beliefs, words, and actions with the truth. It’s tempting to lie, deceive, omit details, or hide uncomfortable realities—especially when we convince ourselves it protects us or those we care about. But true character emerges when we reject those shortcuts.

Honesty demands:

Transparency and authenticity in every interaction.

Telling the truth as it is, not as we wish it to be.

Sharing information completely and accurately, without omissions or spin.

Ensuring our actions consistently match the values we claim to hold.

Why Honesty Matters

Honesty builds a reliable bridge across the unknown—whether that’s a tough conversation, a career pivot, a deployment, or the uncertainties of leading a team. We may not know what (or who) lies ahead, but when honesty governs our thoughts, emotions, habits, and decisions, it creates an unshakable foundation of strength and credibility.

Without it, relationships erode, decisions lose reliability, and long-term success becomes impossible to sustain. Trust crumbles, teams disengage, and leaders isolate themselves behind a wall of half-truths. As research and countless leadership studies show, honesty consistently ranks as the most admired trait in leaders because it fosters loyalty, accountability, and genuine connection.

A Personal Lesson in the Cost of Dishonesty

As newlyweds in 2004, I made a devastating choice: I lied to my wife about my deployment to Iraq. I wasn’t “selected”—I had secretly volunteered for the Third Armored Cavalry Regiment at Fort Carson, Colorado. Dissatisfied with mind-numbing busywork in my new unit, I saw the combat tour as a chance to gain experience, earn hazardous duty pay, and provide for us—buying her a car, furnishing our apartment, jumpstarting our life together.

I told myself I was protecting her; she “wouldn’t understand.” But the lie was self-centered, rooted in fear of conflict rather than care. Months into the deployment, the truth surfaced. Our marriage unraveled. She felt abandoned, convinced I was running away. My justifications only deepened the rift—I could barely trust my own words, so how could she?

When I returned, my original unit deployed within months. I left for another 15 months in Iraq. The chasm widened; our future felt foggy and hopeless. It took nearly a decade of painful work to rebuild trust. I’m profoundly grateful we did—we’ve now been married 23 years and have three sons—but the recovery required brutal honesty from both of us.

Honesty wasn’t the only value that saved us, but making it central to our character gave us the strength to endure. It governed our thoughts, emotions, habits, and decisions, turning a near-breaking point into unshakable resilience.

How You Can Apply Honesty Today

Build bridges with honesty starting now. Use this simple, practical framework to amplify honesty in your life and leadership:

T. Think — Pause and reflect. How has honesty (or dishonesty) shaped your key relationships? Rate how much you truly value honesty right now. Ask yourself: Is there any area where I’m being dishonest—with myself, my spouse, my team, my friends, or my colleagues? What fear is driving it?

O. Observe — Watch closely. Notice how honesty instantly shifts dynamics—opening doors, deepening trust, or closing gaps. Conversely, spot how even small deceptions widen chasms, create distance, and erode confidence. In leadership moments, observe how your team responds when you model transparency versus evasion.

D. Do — Act decisively. The next time temptation arises—to soften a truth, omit details, justify a shortcut, or hide to “protect” someone—bite your tongue. Think through the impact, observe the stakes, then choose honesty. Do it even when it’s uncomfortable; that’s where growth happens.

A. Assess — After acting, evaluate. What changed? Did honesty strengthen the bridge or reveal a weak spot that needed repair? Did it build trust with others (or yourself)? Journal the outcome—what worked, what felt hard, and what you learned.

Y. Yield — Surrender the need to control the outcome. Yield to the truth, even if it brings short-term discomfort or vulnerability. Yield to feedback when others point out blind spots. Yield to growth by committing to honesty as a non-negotiable habit. Over time, this surrender builds the confidence to step boldly into the unknown.

Reflect and Call to Action

Honesty isn’t always easy, but it’s always worth it. It transforms uncertainty into opportunity, fragility into strength, and isolation into connection. By amplifying honesty—aligning it with Integrity, Trustworthiness, and Sincerity—you build the unbreakable foundation every leader needs.

Take one step today: Choose a single situation where you’ve been avoiding the full truth. Apply the TODAY framework. Bridge the gap with honesty. Watch how it changes everything.

Until next time: Lead yourself well. Lead with purpose. Lead today.

All the Best!

— Mike